Sunday, June 2, 2013

I Decided To Enter a Reading Challenge



2013 Reading Challenge

2013 Reading Challenge
Almira has read 56 books toward her goal of 70 books.
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When in the process of elimination, create distractions to keep you focused. - that happened to be my motto since last month.

I'm not really a sad or bitter person. But most of the time, I feel so haunted. So haunted it's as if I've never lived a normal life for quite a while. It's as if I don't remember what it's like to feel, or at least feel anything else other than haunted. Perhaps the death of my brother is starting to take its toll on me. You know that moment when you thought you're over it when you're really not, and then suddenly you wake up and you're crying and you see that awful day coming back to you as if it's happening for the first time? That's how it is. It's been three or four months, I've lost count, nah, I don't want to count...but everyday, it feels like it had just been seconds away. It was as if once again I was kneeling on the ground, trying to see how my brother was doing through that tiny whole (we weren't allowed to see him when he was confined), and the next thing I see was him being pumped by doctors...his chest was bleeding and bruises were all over his tiny body. It's amazing how many details one can see through willpower. I don't remember the window opening wide for me to spectate more of the scene, but he was there...visible through that tiny hole, in pain. I was right there. Five meters away, kneeling, wishing we could exchange places.

There were nights when...I thought I was asleep but then silence would wake me up and darkness would wrap me and yet there was that tiny light again, and the whole thing keeps on coming back. If you'd ask me to narrate the whole day of that day...I could do it even in my sleep. I could even remember what I wore...and I haven't worn that blouse ever since that awful day. I guess that will be the first and last day I'll ever wear that thing.

Hence it brought me to series of miseries, countless and painful, and I'm growing more and more accustomed to it. I came to realize that perhaps I was supposed to get something out of this and I don't know it yet. Along the way, perhaps I shall get that thing and would be free from my series of miseries.

But this time isn't at all bad. I don't know why but in my trying to find out what's been missing, I stumbled upon the humble abode of books. Goodreads. How wonderful indeed, and it must've been fate all along. I decided to use my love for reading as my greatest distraction. I may be running away, so it seems, from all the shits I cannot escape. But I have this chance to have peace and I wish to grab it, even if it would cause me a few minutes of stolen ease.

I decided I should read 70 books for the year 2013. I think that's enough amount to get my mind off several things.

About the name of the site:

I wanted the word 'peruse', but seeing it's already taken, I find another word that means quite the same. In my search, I stumbled upon the word "Parcourir".

parcourir

By , About.com Guide

Definition: to travel, cover; to skim through, run one's eye over

Nous avons parcouru toute la ville en trois jours - We covered the whole city in three days.

J'ai déjà parcouru le livre - I've already skimmed through the book

Related: le parcours - distance, journey, route; career, path; courir - to run

(click the little graphic below to hear the Mot du jour pronounced)
Pronunciation: [par koo reer]

Friday, May 24, 2013

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Gone with the WindGone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell


I sort of had a review already from my original site. Copy-pasted it below for your perusal.




This wasn't my favorite line from Rhett, but...I just want you to get the picture of his character. :]





Since I’m done with the merciless pages of Gone with the Wind, I might as well debate with nobody here, because, well, none of my faithful friends would volunteer for sure as this is not everyone’s cup of tea.

But before that, let me express my profound gratitude to Margaret Mitchell, God bless her soul, the author of this great and in every way outstanding book. I am not a fan of romance but everybody has their “that one story under this genre you’re not a fan of but can’t help but worship anyway”.

I must admit that I had this book in my shelf for four years already, touched several times and put down several times. I remember very well the day Mitchell and I met, it was one random day I was a nobody, just like today, who was hoping to find that one book I could read while professors aren’t inside yet. I found myself holding this thick book, and saw that it’s only worth 75 pesos. My gawd, Booksale could really fail at pricing sometimes because a story like this should be worth more than that, this one’s priceless for me. I bought it not because it’s Mitchell, I have no idea who the hell she is before. I bought it because it’s thick and I think I won’t stumble upon this one again. However, I treated it harshly because instead of reading it right away, I spent time with Dan Brown because at that time, he was my ultimate hero. I worshipped him and I cannot bear to part with him. You see, I can’t talk like a normal person before if it’s about old Brown. I simply have a thing for the Browns of my life, like H. Jackson Brown and him, because they both could hit me like…like no other. Anyway, going back to Mitchell, I soon brought her home just so she could gather the dusts along with my childhood superstars – Animorphs series. I can’t count the number of times I attempted to read it. I just can’t bear Nigger talk during those days (you see I’m but a little kid who adored scifi and shits like fiction and fantasy way back).

Oh but then I met the dead authors like Austen and Dickens and I was like, well, why not dig the classics? I moved on from Brown and Applegate and so the dead ones ruled my world. It was 2010, I was a sophomore, and I wasn’t busy. Only online sites kept me awake and alive and then I realized movies were great friends too. Hence the insanity began, I was more in love with stories I cannot put to reality and authors who are in graves I cannot clean or visit.

Well what about Mitchell? Not yet, 2010 was an age of meeting shorter tales like Pride and Prejudice. But I can’t at all put my heart to Austen’s level of romance. Her felineness is too damn high it almost made me question my own gender. I wasn’t able to appreciate her the way girls or women of this or her generation did. I then realized, I’m a Charles Dickens girl. I think, and I believe, in my heart, I am in love with history and yes I am having a third party with it. But maybe, I and history were just two items of this world that had met on the early parts of our lives but never at once realized we were meant to be.

And so I focused more on history…and suddenly…wars. Wars are my favorite (part of history). I love it when people in teams hate each other. Because of that, I met Frodo and his friends and damn it why didn’t I have the patience to watch it every time my father would watch it on TV?

Now my friend, we arrive to my most boring moment. One summer day, I was alone with nothing to do, back in the province, in my bedroom to be precise. I was wondering where the hell did they put my books. I sort of had a miserable time, and had more of the miseries when I saw that only Mitchell was there. It was the UGH moment of the year. Imagine, that damn book was too thick and I had sided with negativity.

However because I hate the TV, it’s raining, and I’m bored, I started to read anyway.

That…changed my mind about thick books. Friends, I will never say no to thick books again, except maybe the whole Bible, for it has deepness I cannot digest, but maybe…someday.

Now that the history of whuddayacallit had been stated, let me present my debate topic:

Did Scarlett O’Hara loved Ashley Wilkes?

Ha ha, as a girl who had been nowhere, done nothing, I would suggest that you quit reading this for this is going to be based on my logic and not according to any experience. I mean, quit if you hate that method. But anyway, as you are in my territory, I will write whatever I want. (You’re not paying me anyway, but if you insist! Ha ha!)

If you had read the book, Scarlett claimed that she did not really loved Ashley, for all along it was Rhett, the Captain who has a way with words. The conversation with Rhett went like this:

“…But, Scarlett, did it ever occur to you that even the most deathless love could wear out?”
                She looked at him, speechless, her mouth a round O.
“Mine wore out,” he went on, “against Ashley Wilkes and your insane obstinacy that makes you hold on like a bulldog to anything you think you want…Mine wore out.”
“But love can’t wear out!”
“Yours for Ashley did.”
“But I never loved Ashley!”
“Then, you certainly gave a good imitation of it – up till tonight. Scarlett, I’m not upbraiding you, accusing you, reproaching you. That time has passed. So spare me your defenses and your explanations. If you can manage to listen to me for a few minutes without interrupting………”

Pg. 1436 of 1448

To further think about this, here are my thoughts about Scarlett O’Hara’s character.

Scarlett

I don’t think she ever knew what love really meant. Well, romantically speaking. She knew what love for territory meant, love for family, and love for her own stand.

I noticed Scarlett has so much desire for attention and people’s appreciation for her appearance. She is like this teenager who never got out of the vanity season. I mean, I think it’s pretty normal for teens to be fond of their appearances (that is if you have at least half her charms), but to be like that even after being widowed twice, that is a different matter. Scarlett is “malandi”, in Filipino term. She can never stand the thought that a guy thinks another girl is prettier than she is and would rather propose to this another girl. I bet if the law permitted her to marry all the guys she liked all at once, she would.

Scarlett is the type of girl who would appreciate compliments about her appearance, and would not be shy to receive those. That made her unique because almost all the girls from classic stories would be like great ladies who can’t think or act like Scarlett O’Hara.

I wouldn’t say she’s the type of girl I’d hate, in fact she’s one of those I’d picked as a friend. She’s straightforward, frank, she knows what she wants, she tries to get what she wants, and often she succeeds.

If I were a boy, I might in fact court her amidst of her vanity and manipulation skills.

However, Scarlett had her moments of being unjust. She regards herself as the most important person that she could hurt anyone just to make sure she won’t be put last. There are limits – that is something she doesn’t know or know but never applied.

And so, my stand is: She never loved Ashley Wilkes.

I think, it was pride that got hurt the moment he turned her down. It was pride, and not her feelings. She was too young to even know or understand what love is, and she was so into catching beaux. I think, she never had a chance to learn how to love because she was too preoccupied by war and taking Ashley. She wanted to get him so she could patch that bruised part of her pride. I don’t know how she’ll say it but maybe it would be this way: “So what about that day at Twelve Oaks when you rejected me? Now I have you and I knew it all along, there is no guy too high for my reach.”

Pride, and Vanity – two things that go well but produce outcomes unbearable at times.

I knew it all along that she never loved that boy Ashley, because a girl like her could not be possibly after a man whom you can’t depend on. Scarlett showed signs of being a girl who wants someone with strength, so she wouldn’t have to worry about what’s going to be there for her tomorrow. She wanted someone who won’t let her down, and Ashley kept on letting her down. I think, what kept her being like that flirty girl she was around Ashley is the fact that she can’t ruin her pride more. It would be a pain in her pride to admit she’s wrong about Ashley, wrong about loving him, wrong about putting him as manager, wrong about chasing him.

And now I come down to another statement: Scarlett did fell in love with Rhett Butler. It wasn’t love at first sight, or love during the war or the marriage. It happened when realizations hit Scarlett like bullets, at a time when she knew her strength cannot be enough to hold her together. And it wasn’t about the looks (truthfully he wasn’t the best looking), the wealth, or anything that could be gone with time – it was his sincerity, I bet, and the qualities he have that she doesn’t have.

Well look, she bruised her pride, in fact she ruined it hands down, just to admit and outspokenly declare her love for this man of actions and words – that is enough proof.

Did I learn something?

Well yes. I learned about Southerners, and that Filipinos are not the only hospitable folks. I learned that a girl should know what she wants, and how to get it, with of course, limitations to her actions, taking into consideration everything that should be taken into consideration.

I learned, that you must love your territory, especially if it’s really yours to love and fight for. You shouldn’t give up at once. Situations could always go from bad to worse but fuck, some had it worse than your situation. Simply put, there is no worst case scenario.

I learned that family is just an inch more important than territory. A territory is useless without a family to live and take over it. I don’t have to say more about this because whatever I have to say, all of us should’ve known those already.

Lastly, alright, I learned that even the strongest woman cannot hurry love. Yiiieeww! Eeew! What the hell am I talking about. Well, logically speaking, my dearests, you know I’m damn right. And, that we must appreciate everyone – well this one is something I haven’t really learn but we’ll see if I will.

I do believe, that a story like Gone with the Wind, should never ever be gone with the wind.

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