When in the process of elimination, create distractions to keep you focused. - that happened to be my motto since last month.
I'm not really a sad or bitter person. But most of the time, I feel so haunted. So haunted it's as if I've never lived a normal life for quite a while. It's as if I don't remember what it's like to feel, or at least feel anything else other than haunted. Perhaps the death of my brother is starting to take its toll on me. You know that moment when you thought you're over it when you're really not, and then suddenly you wake up and you're crying and you see that awful day coming back to you as if it's happening for the first time? That's how it is. It's been three or four months, I've lost count, nah, I don't want to count...but everyday, it feels like it had just been seconds away. It was as if once again I was kneeling on the ground, trying to see how my brother was doing through that tiny whole (we weren't allowed to see him when he was confined), and the next thing I see was him being pumped by doctors...his chest was bleeding and bruises were all over his tiny body. It's amazing how many details one can see through willpower. I don't remember the window opening wide for me to spectate more of the scene, but he was there...visible through that tiny hole, in pain. I was right there. Five meters away, kneeling, wishing we could exchange places.
There were nights when...I thought I was asleep but then silence would wake me up and darkness would wrap me and yet there was that tiny light again, and the whole thing keeps on coming back. If you'd ask me to narrate the whole day of that day...I could do it even in my sleep. I could even remember what I wore...and I haven't worn that blouse ever since that awful day. I guess that will be the first and last day I'll ever wear that thing.
Hence it brought me to series of miseries, countless and painful, and I'm growing more and more accustomed to it. I came to realize that perhaps I was supposed to get something out of this and I don't know it yet. Along the way, perhaps I shall get that thing and would be free from my series of miseries.
But this time isn't at all bad. I don't know why but in my trying to find out what's been missing, I stumbled upon the humble abode of books. Goodreads. How wonderful indeed, and it must've been fate all along. I decided to use my love for reading as my greatest distraction. I may be running away, so it seems, from all the shits I cannot escape. But I have this chance to have peace and I wish to grab it, even if it would cause me a few minutes of stolen ease.
I decided I should read 70 books for the year 2013. I think that's enough amount to get my mind off several things.
About the name of the site:
I wanted the word 'peruse', but seeing it's already taken, I find another word that means quite the same. In my search, I stumbled upon the word "Parcourir".
About the name of the site:
I wanted the word 'peruse', but seeing it's already taken, I find another word that means quite the same. In my search, I stumbled upon the word "Parcourir".
parcourir
By Laura K. Lawless, About.com Guide
Definition: to travel, cover; to skim through, run one's eye over
Nous avons parcouru toute la ville en trois jours - We covered the whole city in three days.
J'ai déjà parcouru le livre - I've already skimmed through the book
Related: le parcours - distance, journey, route; career, path; courir - to run
(click the little graphic below to hear the Mot du jour pronounced)
Nous avons parcouru toute la ville en trois jours - We covered the whole city in three days.
J'ai déjà parcouru le livre - I've already skimmed through the book
Related: le parcours - distance, journey, route; career, path; courir - to run
(click the little graphic below to hear the Mot du jour pronounced)
Pronunciation: [par koo reer]
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